Opening up.

Bachelor Nation fans saw Charity Lawson fall in love and get engaged to Dotun Olubeko on Season 20 of “The Bachelorette.” 

Since their time on the show, the two have been enjoying time with family and friends and living together in New York City.

The couple is currently planning their wedding and loves keeping fans updated with their lives online.

And this week, the former Bachelorette took to social media to share lessons she’s learned during her “long engagement” to Dotun. 

In a new post titled, “We had a long engagement here’s what it taught me,” Charity explained her five main takeaways from this chapter of life. 

She started off by sharing that “marriage is a goal not the finish line.” Charity described, “We basically did everything reversed... we met on ‘The Bachelorette’ where we got engaged in 7 weeks and spent maybe a total of 48 hrs together before saying yes to each other- not that we weren’t committed to each other or knew in my heart what we had was so special, I just knew we had so much more to learn about each other.”

She shared that she feels like marriage has become “something to check off a checklist” and society doesn’t show the work behind it. Charity revealed that she and Dotun have been using this time to build for “everything that’s coming next - and much thereafter.”

The Bachelor Nation star also touched on the importance of showing vulnerability with a partner during this time, as well as setting boundaries and discussing expectations as “two individual people” prepare to share one life together. 

Continuing, Charity explained that she’s learned “independence is not a threat to your relationship. It’s healthy.” She shared, “Independence isn’t distance, it’s what gives us the opportunity for personal growth, deeper life experiences, better communication, and a deeper connection.”

The former Bachelorette then shared her final lesson, which she described as the “80/20 rule.” She explained, “[It] suggests that a small handful of moments, not every single interaction - are what actually drive most of the happiness and connection in a relationship.” Charity noted that this lesson changed how she shows up and no longer keeps “score of every little thing.”

Charity admitted that she’s “still growing in” these lessons, and fellow Bachelor Nation stars filled the post with their love for her vulnerability and the engaged couple.