Getting vulnerable.

Bachelor Nation first met Sarah Herron on Season 17 of “The Bachelor,” and she returned to our screens for Seasons 1 and 3 of “Bachelor in Paradise.”

After many highs and lows of her IVF journey, Sarah shared a few months ago that she and her husband Dylan Brown welcomed twin girls, Evy and Coco.

The little ones spent four weeks in the NICU, as they were born at 32 weeks, but finally got to go home a couple months ago!

Since then, Sarah has been keeping followers updated with their lives as a family of four and learning how to parent twins with a limb difference. 

Now, the mom of two has taken to Instagram to share a video about unexpected feelings she’s faced in motherhood after pregnancy loss and infertility. 

In the video, Sarah got vulnerable and wrote, “I still get triggered by seeing other people’s pregnancy announcements. Specifically people’s second or third pregnancy without infertility. Some days, I miss my grief…I feel acutely aware of how impermanent each moment is. In a weird way, I miss going through IVF. My love feels SO BIG it scares me.”

Sarah then expanded on these feelings and explained more about them in her caption. 

She shared, “Ok so these statements might sound like head scratchers for some—like, I have my two miracle baby girls, how could I still feel jealous of other people’s pregnancies and how could POSSIBLY *miss* grieving the loss of my first son?! Well… let’s break it down, because the trauma of infertility and baby loss doesn’t go away once you have a rainbow baby.”

Sarah continued, sharing why she still feels jealous or has moments of comparison when she sees other pregnancy announcements even after having her rainbow babies. 

She said, “It’s a strange paradox of feelings, but it’s because…the ease of natural conception, especially a second, or third, is not equitable for all who try. And for many of us, there will not be a second or third despite our desire.”

The Bachelor Nation star then opened up about why she sometimes misses her grief over the loss of her son, Oliver. 

Sarah revealed, “When I was grieving the loss of Oliver, though immeasurably sad, I had never felt more awake. I felt connected to nature, spirit and energy in a way that’s never been matched in my life before. I felt connected to my son every day. I’m a firm believer that going through that type of loss elevates your consciousness, and these days, my connection to Oliver’s spirit isn’t as frequent.”

Sarah also shared that the reason she misses IVF is because of the strong community that surrounded her during that time. 

She said, “Now that that chapter is over, it can be hard to know where I belong at times. I miss the friends and family I made through that stage of life and where I fit in now. It’s a grey area.”

Finally, Sarah explained why the love she feels for her twin daughters tends to scare her sometimes. 

“And lastly, my love feels SO BIG, so amazing gigantic, that every day feels like I’m waiting on bated breath for something to break my heart. It’s a doozy, ya’ll,” she shared.

Fans and loved ones filled her comments with words of love and support, and some shared similar feelings and experiences they’ve faced as well. 

We appreciate Sarah’s vulnerability and know that her sharing her story is going to help others going through a similar journey.