September 04, 2025 bachelor insider
Colton Underwood Explains How His Virginity Became a Defense Mechanism for His Sexuality
Opening up.
Bachelor Nation first met Colton Underwood on Becca Kufrin’s season of “The Bachelorette,” and he returned to our screens for Season 5 of “Bachelor in Paradise” before being named the Season 23 Bachelor.
After his time on the Bachelor Nation shows, Colton came out as gay and married his now-husband Jordan Brown at a stunning ceremony in Napa Valley, California, in May 2023.
Last year, the couple celebrated their first anniversary and just welcomed their son Bishop together in September 2024.
Now, the Bachelor Nation star is getting candid and explaining how his virginity became a defense mechanism for his sexuality while he was still dating women.
On the “Off the Vine” podcast, he said, “It was sort of a defense mechanism because, emotionally, the guilt that I would feel for dating women when I was so unsure of my sexuality. Of like, yes, I can say in one breath of like it was nice going further with women because it sort of convinced me that I will become straight. But there was still a guilt even within that that I felt because I was so unsure of my sexuality, so it was easy to hide behind my virginity.”
Colton continued and further explained how this experience delayed his coming out.
“Like, ‘I’m really sort of saving myself for marriage’ and sort of delaying my coming out,” he shared,. “Essentially that was sort of the game that I was playing with myself. So there was a little bit of my virginity being a layer of my defense mechanism with that.”
The former Bachelor also opened up about finding it difficult to deal with uncomfortable emotions.
“Also, I was just talking to somebody about this too. I’m not really good with sitting in emotions too long. So I need to be distracted,” he said. “I can’t sit still for very long sitting in an uncomfortable feeling. It doesn’t mean I don’t know how to process, that’s just how I process.”
We appreciate Colton’s vulnerability, and we love seeing him so happy with his husband Jordan and their son Bishop. We’re sending Colton our love always.
