Opening up.

Bachelor Nation fans saw Raven Gates Gottschalk and Adam Gottschalk meet and fall in love on Season 4 of “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Since then, the two have tied the knot, welcomed their son Gates in January 2022, and welcomed their second son, Max, in July 2023.

The couple loves to keep people updated with their lives on social media, often posting about their family, marriage, and fun trips together.

This week, Raven took to social media to open up about a piece of advice that changed her life five years ago. 

In a new video, she said, “My therapist told me something five years ago that changed my life, and I thought I’d share it with you. So I was talking to him about relationships with family, with friends, and he said, ‘You have a problem with boundaries.’”

Raven then explained what her therapist meant by that statement. 

“He said, ‘I need you to imagine a target… You put everyone in your bull’s-eye,’” she shared. “He said that in your bull’s-eye, there should only be one — maximum two — but probably just one person in your life that you tell everything to. That you tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, you can go to them when you’re in trouble, you can tell them, you can confide in them. That is your bull’s-eye.” 

She went on, “Outside of that is maybe your really, really close friend that you can tell a little bit to, but not everything to. Not like your deepest, darkest secret. And then outside that is maybe some closer friends and family that you see a lot and you enjoy. And then the next ring is maybe your co-workers that you see every day and the ring goes out and out until you’re at the very last ring where you’re talking to the barista making your coffee and it’s a very transactional conversation and relationship.” 

Raven confessed, “By putting everyone in my bull’s-eye, what I was doing was putting everyone at a level of a loyalty that I was showing to them that wasn’t needed and that they also could not give to me. I’m a person that loves deep and intimate relationships and that is just not how the world works… And of course now, I can give you an example: My husband is in my bull’s-eye. I can tell him anything and everything. Outside of that is like my mom and my closest friends. And outside of that, and so on and so forth, are people that maybe never even should’ve been on my target. I was able to recognize.”

Raven then shared how this exercise was able to help her and explained, “That is no hate to them, but I was being unfair to myself by being so emotionally invested in people and also keeping these people at a standard of which I felt I was to them.”