“I believe Jesus’ truth. When I cry out to Jesus, in the moments I need Jesus the most, God has always shown up, and not only that, in my biggest moments of doubt,” the former Bachelor said in an interview with the Salvation Army’s Midland Division.
Ben continued, “The point to me that always makes sense is Jesus gave his one clearest commandment: Love your God and love your neighbor. Through my life, sometimes that’s the only that makes sense or fits. If I do that well, I also understand there is a God that loves, [and] life seems to click.”
Earlier this month, the beloved franchise star stopped by Trista Sutter’s “Better Etc.” podcast, during which he opened up about his life in the public eye and its impact on his mental health.
“I am back in Indiana right now because of a breakdown, again, in my life where I don’t know what’s happening,” explained Ben, who recently left his residence in Denver, Colorado, and returned home to Indiana to center himself.
“I don’t know what this next season of life looks like for me. I’m farther and farther removed from the show, and at the same time, I need to figure out what my life is going to look like and what my legacy is going to be,” he elaborated, “It’s also really hard. I don’t see myself as this thriving figure right now. I’m kind of lamenting and separating myself from a lot of things that I held close.”
Ben also recounted the aftershock of his journey as the Bachelor, which didn’t lead to a lasting romance with his final rose recipient, Lauren Bushnell, but did result in a variety of fruitful opportunities.
“All of a sudden I go from feeling like I’m an outsider to, over a period of time, having enough people tell me that I’m awesome to start feeling pretty good about [myself],” he said. “I start building an identity around that. I started to really feel like, ‘Oh, my gosh, this is the thing that I was needing to fill me… I’ll be in the ‘in’ group forever.'”
Elsewhere, Ben — who, today, is happily engaged to Jessica Clarke, whom he plans to marry this fall — told Trista that his “infatuation” with fame “started to fade” over the years as he “reached” to maintain relevancy.
“I was living not just for other people but just for other people’s attention,” he said, adding that he used his time in quarantine during the early stages of the coronavirus pandemic to “divorce [him]self” from his pattern of seeking validation from others.
“It was, selfishly, one of the most unhealthy and best times for me,” he said. “I saw everybody else around me slow down… What I recognized then is [that] I was measuring myself on everybody else still, more than I knew.”