Most people who are single and dating have experienced at least one instance of trying to date someone who was just emotionally unavailable.

It can be extremely exhausting and upsetting, and this week, the “Click Bait with Bachelor Nation” co-hosts discussed their experiences with dating emotionally unavailable partners.

Natasha Parker, Tia Booth, and Mike Johnson, who was filling in for Joe Amabile, opened up about their relationship experiences with this situation.

Natasha candidly said, “I have dated those men many times where they say they’re too busy or whatever. I think it comes down to asking yourself, ‘Is it me? What am I doing that’s not allowing him to open up?’ I have dealt with that in many relationships, and I think many women have dealt with that.”

And Tia added that in these situations, “It makes you want them even more because you’re like, ‘Why are you not giving me what I need?’”

Mike chimed in, saying that it’s not just women who have dealt with that; he said it happens across the board.

Natasha agreed and shared the reminder that “Regardless of what this emotionally unavailable person tells you, it is not you, it’s them. And 10/10 they have been emotionally unavailable to other people that they’ve dated as well.”

Tia shared that she actually found herself unintentionally seeking out emotionally unavailable partners during a time when she may have been emotionally unavailable herself.

Tia asked, “Do you ever feel like you subconsciously went after partners who were emotionally unavailable because you were not ready? For me personally, I was in crappy relationship after crappy relationship, so it taught me to put my walls up and if I didn’t have emotions I wouldn’t get hurt as much and wouldn’t get attached. I would subconsciously go for these men who I knew were emotionally unavailable and it didn’t seem like anyone would be hurt if we didn’t commit. But at the end of the day, I was still affected.”

She said she had to train herself to not seek those kinds of relationships out anymore, but it wasn’t easy.

Natasha said that in her experience, “What gets my attention normally with a guy is when they’re obsessed with me and doing the most. I guess I come off very emotionally unavailable in the beginning because I just don’t care until he’s done enough to prove to me that I should care. That’s normally how I am, but there have been times when I’ve liked a guy a lot and have done whatever I could to be around him. But there’s normally a dynamic switch where I fall for the guy who’s doing the most and then they become emotionally unavailable after I show more interest. So when I want to start a real relationship, they’re all of the sudden unsure.”

The co-hosts shared that since they’ve all experienced emotional unavailability in the past, they now know what signs to look for, like someone avoiding talking about certain topics.

To hear more of their conversation on the “Click Bait with Bachelor Nation” podcast, check out the full episode below.