On Friday, Jade posted a photo of herself holding Brooks on a balcony next to a snowy hill and wrote a long caption about having a “really hard” time feeding him.

She wrote, “Our feeding journey with Brooks has been a really hard one. We’ve dealt with dairy and soy allergies that left him crying for hours on hours from malabsorption, a lip and tongue tie we were advised not to revise (although they give him a poor latch), milk supply issues, foremilk/hindmilk imbalance.”

The “Bachelor in Paradise” alumna also discussed “one of the biggest worries we have as mothers,” which is whether babies “are getting enough to eat and if they are gaining enough weight.” Jade shared that taking Brooks to his four-month checkup left her “crushed.” She revealed Brooks is “in the 5th percentile,” which made his pediatrician “very concerned about his weight gain.”

Jade admitted hearing the news broke her heart. “I’ve never felt more like a failure,” she wrote. “The feelings of guilt that my baby was aching for food and nutrition, and I didn’t know it, consumed me. I knew he was a string bean (he’s tall for his age), but with how hard we work on his feedings, I guess I didn’t think he was that tiny compared to other babies his age.”

She wrote she felt “so bad” she might have been “missing some cues from him I didn’t know he was showing.” Jade continued, “I’ve changed my whole diet and so many other parts of my life to make sure he is getting good feedings, so it’s just so hard to know that it’s not enough.”

Brooks’ doctor recommended supplements after breastfeeding, so she’s been using a “hypoallergenic formula that’ll hopefully help him put on weight before his weight gain check-up.”

Jade turned to fellow moms on Instagram and heeded their advice on the situation. She inquired, “Any mamas out there that had babies that were on the lower end of the weight percentiles? How did you get through the worry and the guilt? How did you not over obsess with the progress?”

She wrote towards the end of her caption, “There’s been so many tears over here, but we are strong and working on getting this little guy some rolls. I’d do about anything in the world to help keep Brooks healthy and thriving.”

Jade and her husband Tanner Tolbert welcomed Brooks on July 29 in what was likely the most dramatic birth in Bachelor Nation history. She gave birth in her closet at home, calling it “one of the scariest moments of my life.”