March 23, 2021 • bachelor insider
Becca Kufrin & Rachel Lindsay Discuss the Pressure to Be 'Perfect' in the Public Eye
Becca Kufrin and Rachel Lindsay convened this week for a special episode of “Bachelor Happy Hour,” in which the co-hosts answered listeners’ questions.
During their chat, the former Bachelorettes responded to a fan who asked if they feel pressure to be “perfect” as public figures.
“When you first come off the show, you definitely still feel that way because you’ve been on TV for so long and then your season airs and you just feel like you have to live up to the way people last saw you on television,” said Rachel, who made history as the first Black person to lead the franchise during 2017’s Season 13 of “The Bachelorette.”
The beloved Bachelor Nation star — who is married to her final rose recipient, Bryan Abasolo — said that post-show fame is especially difficult to navigate if you “come off as a couple.”
Rachel elaborated, “Because you’re like, ‘Oh, my gosh, we have to be talking all the time. We have to be laughing together. We have to be holding hands.’ Because people think that you’re unhappy even if you walk around and you see most couples not doing any of that.”
However, the “Extra” correspondent said that uncomfortable feeling eventually wears off “probably after a year.” These days, Rachel says she has no qualms when it comes to her celebrity status.
“Now do I feel the pressure to be perfect in public? Absolutely not, especially after all the stuff that I’ve gone through, no,” she said, seemingly referring to the racist social media vitriol she endured following her February “Extra” interview with host Chris Harrison and his subsequent hiatus from the franchise. “I don’t care.”
Elsewhere, Rachel said that it’s important for “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” contestants to “reinvent” themselves after leaving the series.
“It’s almost as if people think you were born the day you walked out of the limo from whoever’s season. That’s the image that they have of you and that’s it. You feel like you have to live up to that. And as you start to let that go and reestablish yourself back into society, you start to not care about those things,” she said. “I definitely don’t feel [the pressure] now.”
Becca shared a similar take to Rachel’s, revealing that she “very much so” felt the pressure to be perfect after her Season 14 “Bachelorette” journey ended in 2018 with an engagement to finalist Garrett Yrigoyen.
“People will DM you or they’ll write and be like, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re not together one weekend.’ Or, ‘Someone’s not wearing their ring.’ Or, ‘They’re not talking at dinner.’ Like, all the weird things that it’s just a lot. It’s such a weird world to transition into, especially like coming from what I was doing beforehand,” said the former publicist.
Becca said that she felt a different kind of pressure when she decided to call it quits with Garrett in 2020.
“Going through a very public breakup, I kind of felt pressure where I didn’t want to give too much to the public to have them feed into any sort of narrative,” she said. “I felt the pressure of, ‘How do I walk this fine line still being who I am and trying to navigate this new world that I’m living in and being a single woman?’ Because I know [our listeners] put so much stock into us and the podcast and want to hear from us and feel relatable to them. It was like this weird fine line that I was walking.”
Now, as a single woman in 2021, Becca said that that her “give-a-s--t” level is at an all-time low.
“I’ve gotten to the point where I realize I’m never going to please everyone,” she said. “I feel like I’ve gotten to the point now where I can feel better about not always having to be perfect or saying the right things or appeasing everyone on social media. It finally feels good to come into my own and this new chapter of my life.”
Listen to the latest edition of “Bachelor Happy Hour” below.