Millions watched as Desiree Siegfried pursued love on “The Bachelor” Season 17 and then as the lead of “The Bachelorette” Season 9 in 2013. But what viewers didn’t see was the turbulent journey she took before ever stepping foot inside the Bachelor Mansion — and the hidden pain she endured after.

In her book, “The Road to Roses: Heartbreak, Hope, and Finding Strength When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned,” the beloved franchise star opens up about her struggles and, most importantly, how she overcame them.

“Writing this book was certainly a healing experience,” she tells BachelorNation.com in an exclusive interview. “Being able to reflect on those tough times felt like a form of therapy. And then seeing how far I’ve come and realizing that I’m on the other side of all that was really affirming. I feel strong because of all the challenges, and I hope readers can find strength in my story as well.”

“The Road to Roses” — a memoir and self-help hybrid sprinkled with observations on faith — details deep-seated insecurities from Desiree’s transient childhood, former financial turmoil, and toxic relationships she navigated before reality TV. It also covers the public humiliation she faced after her gut-wrenching split from Brooks Forester on “The Bachelorette,” a polarizing moment she feels “so far removed” from eight years later.

“I wrote this book to show people that their brightest days can come even after their darkest hour,” the bridal designer said, pointing to her six-year marriage with Chris Siegfried, her final rose recipient with whom she shares sons Asher, 4, and Zander, 2.

“This was also an opportunity to reframe our ‘Bachelorette’ love story,” she adds. “Today, I’m living a life I could have never imagined. The show led me to him and being a mom of two boys and I’m so grateful for that. I never ‘settled,’ as people said at the time, and so I wanted to shed more light on my relationship with Chris because what we have is so special.”

Below, Desiree chats more with BachelorNation.com about “The Road to Roses” and her hope to inspire others with its message.

You’ve written a wedding book as well as a book of poetry with Chris. How does the process of writing a memoir compare?

This was way, way different. This took a lot longer, a lot more thought, and a lot more time to process and reflect on what stories to share. I thought a lot about what direction I would take and how I would share my story. I worked with my co-author, Autumn Krause. She is an old friend that I used to work with and she’s an author, so we worked together on creating the story line. Overall, it’s been really cool. It’s great to share past experiences when you are in a place of healing and a place of confidence and a place of where you’re meant to be. So, it’s really cool to have lived that and be able to write it.

The book opens with you revisiting a really tough time in your “Bachelorette” journey — your breakup with Brooks. What kind of emotional impact did you experience looking back on that moment?

I’m so far removed from those moments in time and being on the show. I actually look back fondly in terms of seeing how far I’ve come and, processing it all these years later, I’m really proud of myself. I’m proud of myself for getting through it but also for realizing where so much of that emotion came from. So, I share a lot about that in the book.

How do you process your split from Brooks today?

The Brooks scene wasn’t necessarily all about Brooks. It was years and years of dating similar guys and always having the same result. It was almost me just being so mad at myself, too, for letting myself fall for it again. There was so much redemption in my relationship with Chris and being able to see the future for what it was and not just hold on to what I knew people would think of me — being so heartbroken over Brooks and then “settling” for Chris.

You also share a lot about your past before entering Bachelor Nation: insecurities from your childhood, toxic relationships, and living in poverty, among other revelations. What made you want to open up about those parts of your life?

Those moments, especially the ones we experience during our childhood, can really define who we are. Even in childhood, I let my brother [Nate Hartsock] and the neighborhood kids really affect how I saw myself. Those moments can impact the way you see yourself when you are older and grown. Those stories are truly what have shaped me into who I am and I wouldn’t be the same person without those childhood experiences and walking through that. It’s so important to reflect on where you’ve been to see how far you’ve come.

It’s probably also very therapeutic to get these stories all on paper.

It’s so therapeutic.

In what ways was writing this book a healing experience?

I believe in writing for therapy. Whenever I was going through hard times, I journaled. It’s so helpful to get it out and to process and to reflect. So, writing the book, it brought up things where I’m like, “Oh, I’m so past that,” mainly when it came to my childhood, family, and things like that. You go about your day and you live with those memories. When I revisited it, though, I started to see things from a different perspective. When I was learning more about my parents and writing about their story, it made me have even more compassion for them. When you put yourself in other people’s shoes, you tend to have more compassion. Instead of thinking, “Look what you’ve done to me,” you have a heart of forgiveness and you’re able to move forward.

You wrote a chapter about the aftershock of your “Bachelorette” journey: the difficulty of the whole world watching you, the onslaught of attacks from social media trolls, and then slipping into a state of depression when you had to hide your engagement to Chris. What helped you eventually get to a better place?

It’s hard. I think people forget that all of us in Bachelor Nation are normal people. We’re not characters or actors who have lived like this their whole lives. It was really difficult, especially with me having a more introverted personality. I needed my space and I felt like I couldn’t get it. It was really hard to also read things about yourself and be like, “That’s not what happened,” or, “That’s not who I am.” But no one could really hear me. And under the microscope of the show, I couldn’t say a lot of things to defend myself. I didn’t want to leave my small little shoebox studio in Santa Monica because I was afraid of being photographed or being followed. So, I started writing a devotional for women and I think I was really writing it, in part, for myself to keep myself encouraged while also encouraging other people.

Secret visits with Chris probably also helped.

Oh, absolutely. Chris was my rock throughout it all. He couldn’t care less about what anyone said, what anyone did, how he was portrayed, how I was portrayed. He just didn’t care, so that was great whenever I had a moment of weakness and was crying. I’d be upset about an article, a show edit, or whatever it was, and he would always be there to console me, calm me down, and remind me that none of that really mattered in the grand scheme of things. He also didn’t care about any of the other guys and watching my relationships back on the show. He really doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body, so that made things a lot easier too.

While viewers were largely focused on your relationship with Brooks, your connection with Chris is very apparent upon closer look at your season.

Yeah, definitely. My relationship with Chris wasn’t shown as much as I wish it had been. But if you do take a closer look, you’ll see that Chris was always so steady. He was my rock. I talk about it in the book, too, where I often thought he was almost too perfect. It was almost scary because I wasn’t used to it. And it’s so sad that we get used to dysfunction or we get used to being hurt or we get used to dating the wrong guys that when the right one comes around, you’re like, “Wait, what?”

It probably felt really good to write more in depth about your relationship with Chris and reveal parts of it that weren’t seen on “The Bachelorette.” What did you want fans to know about your love story? Because here we are six years of marriage later and it’s clear that you did not “settle.”

Yeah, I think that’s the main point. It’s so disheartening when people say that or say that he was my second choice. Never in a million years is he my second choice. Part of me kind of wishes Brooks stayed because then people would have seen that it would have always been Chris. I just couldn’t say goodbye to Brooks. That was hard, but there were so many doubts that I had with Brooks. But it worked out the way that it was supposed to. And for me and my story, I’m so thankful for it because obviously I ended up with Chris. I wanted readers to truly know who Chris was because he didn’t really get shown a lot. And when he did, he was overshadowed by the Brooks stuff. He’s super quirky, so much fun, and he’s just a great, great guy. I really wanted to give him that in the book.

How would you describe your life with Chris and your family today? You must feel overwhelmed with gratitude.

Yes, oh my gosh. It’s so crazy to be like, “Oh, this is where I’m at now in my life.” Because I never in a million years thought I’d be the cliché of married with two kids, a dog, a house, and a white picket fence. I always tried to be more adventurous and was like, “That will never be me.” But it happened for me and I’m thankful for it. Chris brings roots that I was never used to having and so I’m just grateful to be able to put those roots down for my boys. I just love enjoying our family and our simple moments. I’m looking forward to growing together.

Do you and Chris ever think about expanding your family?

As of right now, no. We don’t think we will. Two is a lot! We both are busy with work, too. We are already at our capacity. That’s what I always say when people are like, “How do you know when you’re done?” We’ve hit our capacity in terms of sanity, so we don’t want to cross the line!

You have a chapter titled “Unfiltered Mama,” where you talk about the rewarding parts of motherhood as well as the hard parts. What inspired you to get real with your readers about the challenges of parenting?

There are pockets on social media that make parenthood look raw and so you feel seen. But there’s also the filtered picture-perfect representation of motherhood that’s just not real. Motherhood is hard. Being a first-time mom is very hard. It takes a village, they say. But that village is no more because we don’t live near our family. We don’t have family that live with us like people used to. We don’t have all hands on deck to provide a moment or a break. And then there’s so much pressure to get your body back, be the perfect mama, be the perfect wife, and it’s just unrealistic. And that’s why so many women and mothers struggle with postpartum depression, anxiety, stress, and all these emotions that don’t need to be there if we can all just acknowledge that it’s hard and we’re all in it together. I like to contribute to a sense of community that seems to be missing sometimes. It’s so important for moms to feel seen and to be heard because it can be difficult.

In addition to being a busy mom, you’re also a successful wedding dress designer. How does it feel to be living out your dream and helming Desiree Hartsock Bridal?

I’ve had these dreams since I was so young. In high school, I wanted to design dresses. It’s just so surreal. I always thought it would happen quickly. I knew I could do it and make it happen, but timing is everything. So, I wouldn’t be able to do what I do now if I had started out younger. Just looking back, all of the preparation we need in order to fulfill our dreams is very important. There’s so much purpose in the small moments. There’s so much purpose in struggle because we grow from it. You grow and you learn to be resilient and persevere. It’s very cool. I love what I do. I love where I feel like I’m heading.

If you could have given your younger self any piece of advice when you had doubts about your career, what would it be?

That’s a good question. I did always hold on to hope and that’s truly what got me through because, in my 20s, it was not realistic at all for me to be able to fulfill my dream. But I kept that seed of hope alive within myself and I kept pressing forward. You just have to keep going. Don’t give up and also don’t stop doing what you love. I would sketch during my downtime or I would sew something because it’s just what I loved to do. And though I couldn’t afford anything or even afford to do an internship, I just kept that seed of hope alive. Deep down, I guess I just always knew it would work out. I kept telling myself, “Something is going to happen.” And I think the more you believe that and the more you trust that God will take care of it, the more it does come true.

Your relationship with God is laced throughout “The Road to Roses.” Tell us about your decision to incorporate faith into this book.

Throughout my entire life, faith has been really important to me. I talk about how I had to discover God on my own as well, even though I grew up with faith. The reason that I could hold on to hope is because I had this faith to believe that something greater existed and something greater could happen for me in my life. My prayer life is everything because that’s how I discern decisions or what next steps to take and who to date or, “Should I say yes to Chris?” All of those things took faith and so much of my life and the risks that I’ve taken are only because I believed that if I fell, God had me. Faith is my whole life and believing that there is so much more for our lives. There’s purpose in every single moment. There’s purpose in every single season. There’s a greater picture that we can’t always see, so having that belief — which is faith, believing in something you can’t see — has allowed me to take steps forward not really knowing what’s going to happen but knowing that he’s got me regardless.

For people who read the book who aren’t religious, what do you hope they take away from your observations on faith?

If people aren’t believers, they’ll still take away hope from the book. I’m hoping that the book can instill a little bit more hope in people’s lives regardless of whatever they’re going through. And then at the same time, I hope that it inspires them to seek who they are more. Everyone is always seeking their identity.

How do you hope to help others by sharing your story?